Tired (:

ohmygosh so tired.

Tired of... I don't even know.

Oh ya.

I think I'm tired of being clueless.

I have no idea on a lot of things.

Like,

Who am I? No, no let me rephrase.

What is my real personality?

Why is it that, this side, this terribly dark and awfully mean side, can pop out from nowhere?

It's scary. Very scary. I'm afraid of myself.

But usually, I feel really happy (:

I think I'm really blessed even in family, school[MG and NP], blah~

People say I laugh easily, huh? ._.

The most recent bunch would be the most open bunch who actually gave me a nickname for laughing easily XD

But I guess, maybe I laugh cause, it comes naturally.

Like, I always drilled into myself

The thought that I'm blessed and that I should be happy.

So now, there seems to be joy like, anywhere o.o

No matter what bad things happen.

Im blessed with many many other stuff.

Thinking of the negatives isn't good.

Not at all.

Nuh-uh.

But why?

Tell me why?

Why did all these come to me at once?

Why Lord tell me why.

Why did he do all those things and made her hurt?

And why 3 times over?

And WHY just before Os?

"Now I know, what it's like

when it's harder to hate than love
The image I have of you

is one hard to replace.

Now as I look at you

I can feel it in my heart

The pain and disbelief

tha haunts me in my sleep"

"Why did you have to do this?

Repeat your mistake thrice?

Oblivious to the hurt you caused

and the buckets that we cried

Now as I look at you

I can feel it in my heart

The pain and disbelief

I know I can't deny"

Verse 1 and Verse 2 of my first self-written song.

Inspiration is unknown to everyone except me.

Now I can tell you this.

It was from the incident above.

It wasn't just for fun, or that I was bored during SS, ya? (:

Why, when everything started settling..

Does YiYi need to go through the same problem from 4 years ago?

She's been through enough.

She's such a lovely lady.

She's. Alone. In the sense that, her spouse is gone.

So why?

Why?

Am I feeling so lost about my feelings.

I think, maybe I lost them.

Those feelings. Those kinds of feelings.

Not just for "the one", but for any other possibility.

Why?

Did She come out from me after all this time?

Am I unable to contain Her inside for long?

I don't want to be that Isabelle.

I want to remain me.

The me now.

Yes, with my tummy growling omgggg DD:

I'm so grumbly =o =

KTHBAI! :DD