School Drop Out

Why? Why am I so useless?

After all the education and upbringing from MG, I end up so weak like this.

After all the care and love from my family, I return to them useless behaviour.

After all the support and expectations from people around me, I produce such lowly results.

I even have the option to think about dropping out of school, without even holding a basic diploma degree, to start working odd jobs.

What is this Isabelle? What is this?

So useless you can't even hand in worksheets on time cause you don't know how to do them.

So useless you can't even control your floodgates and emotions.

So useless you dropped from being some fakeshit chemistry ace to a total chemistry failure.

So useless how could you even be from MG?!

IM LIKE WTCRAP OKAY? JUST GO AND DIE CAN? WHICH MG GIRL CANT EVEN GET A BASIC DIPLOMA DEGREE?

MY FAMILY IS ALL EXCITED FOR ME TO BECOME SOME VET CAUSE NOW SO MANY PEOPLE KNOW IM IN VET COURSE. AM I SUPPOSED TO BURST THEIR BUBBLE AND EXPECTATIONS NOW?

I don't want my parents and grandparents to be disappointed, since my whole family really is into animals, they're really supportive of me being a vet. I really can't dash their expectations so easily, now that I had given them the idea I'm gonna be a vet since I chose vet course without much thought.

At the end of the day, its all my fault.
I wanna be a vet, but I'm afraid and not working hard for it.

I refuse to seek lecturers for help. I just refuse so badly despite the many times my mother advices me to. I don't know why okay. Its just really really scary cause I dont know HOW to consult. Cause I seem to understand everything in lecture, but when I attempt questions BAMM IM STUPID AGAIN YAYYY!

this really sucks.

I never ever thought of the possibility of me being expelled. And now, its just this close. Its scary.

Great. TMR IS AFA AND IM GONNA HAVE PUFFY EYES WTFREAK. JUST STOP OKAY ISABELLE?! DONT KNOW HOW TO STOP IS IT?! SHIT EVERYTHING AND YOURSELF OKAY?! YOU SHOULD SLAP YOURSELF AND CRUSH YOUR KNUCKLES WITH THE DOOR. MAYBE THE PAIN WILL MAKE YOUR LITTLE BRAIN WORK AGAIN.

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