Its entirely my fault.
If I didnt start, meimei wouldnt have started either.
Things would be much happier.
There would be one lesser major conflict.
We would look forward to outings again.
I wouldnt feel this way. I dont even feel like Im living anymore. Its hard to breathe.

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Why. Why why did I have to say all those?
Why did I left my fingers slip up?
Why couldn't I have more self control?
Why do I start crumbling so easily in all aspects once I start experiencing academic stress for the first time?

I'm already breaking apart in many areas and.. I realized that losing you all is my biggest heartbreak that I can actually want to break out in tears in publuc. Omg. It hasn't happened in so long but I can't stop it. I couldn't even break out in a tear easily with ppl around for so long. So... So long.

Why was I so stupid? I'm so childish and ignorant and weak.This little bit of stress and I start to lose sight and momentum of everything.
EVERYTHING!
Forgetting worksheets, not enough time to study or more like bad time management as usual, feeling my eyes getting dry at like 8pm already and all the shizz omgomgomg.

Sometimes I feel that the world could do with one less person.
But I'm a coward so I don't dare.
And I wanna see Daddy God in Heaven, so I'm not gonna do it.

And I had distanced myself from him for an entire month. I didnt realize that that brought my spirits down so much.

Please please please help me Lord..? ((:

posted from Bloggeroid

I pray to dear Lord that you two will be okay.. I Thank God that your problem hasnt risen to another level.. Thank you for sharing your problems with me even though I'm not your child ((:

Okay. That aside.

I'm just a child and I've never been through such a thing as spouse problems blahblah.. But I know it hurts the children involved when their parents are in conflict..

Be it putting work first, having women outside, or being unable to understand each other, they are all conflicts and while they are caught up in their quibbles and frustrations, we're the ones who get the best front seats.

I'm sorry that we can't help. We can only be a listening ear, but we do not understand everything all the time.

I feel selfish for not understanding and complaining about how hard the feelings are to contain. Sorry..

posted from Bloggeroid

Alright this is random but I remembered how I was like when I was younger XD

I remember shouting at my classmate and storming out of class with my bag, ready to head home when I was wrongly accused in primary 3, while everyone else was trying to make me stay.

I remember how I would scream and shout at the top of my voice at home when my little sister wouldn't listen to me.

I remember using violence and harsh words to try to impress upon others how much anger and frustrations I had towards them.

I'm sure I did a lot more terrible things in the past, be it when I was a little girl or maybe just yesterday :(

But all I want to do is to make sure I stop doing such immature stuff ((: If I still do them, I'm sorry heehee :P

posted from Bloggeroid

Will harsh words really relieve ones anger?

I had proven myself that the above does not apply, that's why for the last half of my life, I've been telling myself not to say any vulgarities. Cause it not only doesnt relieve anger, it hurts others.

I know I'm not a good person. I shouldn't have been born as an older sister. I didnt know you hated me so much XD

I'm sorry I've always been so clingy and non dependable. I'm really not mad at anyone, not like I have the right to, right? I know it's all my fault XD Cause I chose the path of hiding and running away.

Aww shucks I forgot what I wanted to type DDDD:
HAHAHAHA okay then crab is here!! Byeee~~

posted from Bloggeroid

I guess I can't help it but.... I have to type out stuff on my blog to release stuff inside me DD:
I'M SORRY FOR THESE DISHEARTENING POSTS DD:

So yeah..

I can't stand how you keep complaining about him when he's not around.

I can't stand how you have such a thing for cleanliness to the point that I can't foster a dog.

I can't stand how you talk to him, or rather, angstily shout at him when you two talk.

YOU, SHUT UP.

How does that sound?

I can't stand how I feel that you're attention seeking when you show that you're suffering.

I can't stand how I was told to do something for you two, when there is nothing I feel I can do.

I can't stand how I suddenly remembered the smaller bits but shocking things he did.

I was the one who started it. She has nothing to do with it.

Yeah. Why you? Why did you start it?

I can't stand how you two keep saying you're trying yet keep blaming each other.

I can't stand how we get affected when you two are in bad moods.

I can't stand how I have witnessed males, even in marriage, who are able to find other women outside like nothing.

I can't stand how I can't tell anyone but type in ambiguity on my blog.

nande, nande, nande..?

YAYYY I FEEL BETTERRRRRRR :DD
I managed to finish my last E-Learning module homework~!!

Now I can go for Cosfest with a relaxed mind~

Actually, I'm having butterflies in my tummy DD:

Cause I'm nervous about meeting new friends XD

Oh wells!
Byebye~!

#nowplaying - Dear Remix Vers..

I want to see you, the voice thats no longer there
I keep on calling out your name
Such sorrow, such pain
The lonely night scares me
I look up to the sky
searching for you

((:

HI PEOPLE :DDD

I'm now with my cousins and we just left Resorts World Sentosa~ There's nothing much to see actually but the whole setting is just really cool and grand~ The humidity just made everything suck though :/

The last thing we visited was....... The carpark! Since we had to go to the car to drive off HAHAHAHAHA LAMEEE XD

Okay yeah we visited Candylicious last~! I lovelovelove shopping there >//w//<
The candies and chocolates in various cute sorts are amazing (* A *)
I bought a cherry crystal lollipop for Starlight kun since he's in love with that flavour HAHAHA :D
And a blueberry one for Ryodo kun! These are meant to be pressies for them after their Live performance! :D
I hope everything goes along well for the performances and the entire event as a whole :3

Random note: SELENA GOMEZ IS SO PRETTY OH GOD WHY WHY WHY :(( I WANNA BE PRETTY TOO :(( And she sings nice :DD

Oh gosh hear ye hear ye.
I was in Makan Place, one of my school's food courts, when I spotted a guy that I saw from a few weeks back, sitting at the next table.
He and his group of friends had asked us if they could play basketball with the guys 4v4 a few weeks back~
Oh gosh he has a nice face and stuff.. >///<
But I saw one of his friends spit last time. So. Urh. Yeah.
And I don't even know who he is at all. :P

BAIBAI!

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