Many Faces
I don't even know what my true self is like anymore.
For quite awhile, I've been puzzled as to why I can be quiet and shy at times, before drastically changing to become loud and tomboyish, without actually trying to fake it.
It's as if, I had no problem being either one at those points in time.
Realizing this is really very scary. To me. It's like I'm a freak or something. So I keep pondering about it every time I'm reminded of my situation.
I guess, it's because I've come to discover and learn of so many personalities where each one receives different kinds of responses from various people.
For example, when I knew of personality 1, I liked the kinds of responses they got and learnt to be like them. Then when I got to know of personality 2, I also tried to pick it up. I guess that's how I gradually made myself into a complete mess of personality mash ups.
And now, I'll never find that someone who loves me for who I truly am, cause the question still remains - who am I truly?
Besides being a child of God, or a See family member or something, I don't know what my inner being is anymore. So if I seem bipolar or quadripolar, please forgive me. Best is to inform me kindly ((:
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